Year 33.

 

11.29.2019

This post is a special one. Today I turn 33 years old. I can’t help but get a bit emotional as I type this because I’m THAT person that LOVES birthdays. The love for my birthday has evolved from pizza parties, lots of gifts (barbies were my FAVE), going to daa clubs, taking shots (this actually still happens very often) to wanting left over Thanksgiving food as the dinner choice for my family celebration (My birthday lands on black friday this year). I did have a very intimate dinner this past weekend, since my best friends were not going to take no for an answer. I’m sure it was odd for them that this year I hadn’t scheduled my big dinner or party like I normally do. I have absolutely loved every single birthday celebration in the past this year I just feel I’m in a different light and next year may be different I may decide I want a pizza party at Peter Piper Pizza and force everyone to buy me a Barbie….or Tequila. 

Basically what I’m trying to say is that – I am beyond happy I have been deemed worthy to turn a year older, that I have completed another year around the sun and that I can confidently say year 32 was by far my FAVORITE year of life (followed by year 26, 18, maybe 9).  Year 32 was breathtaking, that’s honestly the best way I can describe it. When I sit back and think about the transformation and journey I embarked on, I get a big smile from ear to ear because year 32 needed to happen exactly the way it did to set me up for abundance of success for year 33 (corny much? Yass. I am). I needed to feel all the ranges of emotions I felt. I needed to experience every single thing I did.

If I already gave you dramatic Marisol overload, stop right here. If not…I decided to list 33 reasons why 32 was the best fucking year ever. I hope this connects with you, makes you feel like you know me a little better and perhaps makes you want to list out reasons why every year you’re alive…CAN BE THE BEST FUCKING YEAR. Let’s beginning.

  1. Love
    • ♥ I relearned the definition of love and how love is truly the center of my essence, the center of the world, the cure for all! I learned to focus on love as my guide.
  2. Challenges
    • Just a fancy way of saying “this shit is hard, what the hell is going on?”. Had many of these and I don’t think they are going away, however I have been working on finding a way to understand why it’s difficult, what’s in my control or not and how can I move past it.
  3. Free Will
    • I wasn’t so sure I understood this concept and when I did, bam. Enlightenment. I have complete control of ALL decisions I make. All of them. Every single one. It’s still a bit scary for me because it made me face myself in the mirror. 
  4. Self Worth
    • ohhhhhhhh yes. I’ve been working on this probably all my life & this year I decided to be more intentional about it. So much so that it’s my theme for 2020.
  5. Boss Bitch
    • Is there an explanation needed? I consider myself and I KNOW I’m a boss bitch. I want to always want to be her, she’s helped make me feel empowered.
  6. Therapy
    • I started individual therapy in June. It’s been one of the best choices and has helped me start my journey to heal and make gratitude a priority. 
  7. Medium
    • This one is a special one and one that was so hard for me to pull the trigger on. I’m so glad I did! I got to connect with my dad, I got to feel him and know he’s okay & happy! 
  8. Family
    • My continuous support & biggest bank of love. We’ve broken a lot of barriers this year and I’ve been able to build really healthy boundaries to enforce our family ties. Although it’s been a challenging year for our unit, one thing is always constant – we are a strong pack & I will never be without their love.
  9. Partner
    • At random I wrote this list and it’s no surprise this one is #9. My favorite number for my favorite human. In every sense of the word I have a partnership. The healthiest most challenging relationship we’ve both have ever had. Why? Because we are in our own individual journeys of self awareness that feeds our relationship with all the nutrients it needs. One day I’ll share our full story for beginning to date. We have big plans for 2020 and we will CRUSH ALL OUR GOALS!!! YASSSS 
  10. Doggies
    • They give me perfect examples of pure love and adoration. Sometimes I want to open the gate and wish them well. (kidding never!!) Most of the time, I am obsessed with them. I love their different personalities (even Baby my grumpy old man poodle). Safi is my big weird lover and Luna is my 4 legged source of therapy.
  11. Friends
    • Oh my gawd. I’m FILTHY rich in this division. Seriously – I can’t be more grateful for the tribe of friends I have. All so important to me and valuable. I’m so fortunate to have so many friends that love me and I them. I hope I show just how proud and happy I am for all the successes you, my friend, have!! I also love friends from afar that needed space or a “pause” on our friendship or the relationship just fizzled out. I used to take it so personally when friendships changed seasons, it made me doubt myself so much. Thankfully through my personal journey, I’m able to let nature takes it’s course and trust that who is meant to be near me will be! You got a friend in me!!! Always 🙂 
  12. Home
    • This year sometime in September I think. After 3 years in this house I was working from home I went to get coffee in the kitchen, I paused,  looked at my home and had a moment of clarity & said “omg. I prayed for this. I prayed for this living room, for that pool, for that walk-in closet.” It came to me as I was feeling a bit bummed and self-destructive comparing our home to others that had the new tile, had the updated kitchen, had the patio set. I get to have all that some day too but RIGHT NOW I’M LIVING IN MY ANSWERED PRAYERS!
  13. iStartFirst Summit
    • LIFE CHANGER here. Without a doubt attending this woman empowerment summit fucking started a revolution on my soul. Shared my experience on Instagram @MarisolSaysItAll a few days back. On 11/25/19 I think. Go read it!
  14. Passion
    • I regained passion for my life, I remind myself how important passion is in every sense of the word for me. Passion is my fuel to being 100% devoted to all my dreams and journey of self-awareness. 
  15. Health
    • This one is one I struggle with the most. I know how important health is to my physical, mental and spiritual growth. I accomplished my first ever mental/physical challenge at age 32. I did fall off the tracks again however I value that I keeeeep getting back up and coming up with plans on how I can better my health. I’m going to break the code soon. I FEEL IT. 
  16. Fashion
    • I’m 5’10, size 10 in shoes, Size 18 in bottoms/dresses and 2X/XXL in tops. I weigh about 290 pounds and I FUCKING LOVE FINDING OUTFITS THAT FIT MY BOOTYLICIOUS FIGURE. I count this as a HUGE off scale success. Okay, yes as every human on this planet, I have my moments where I don’t really like what I see in the mirror 100% – I have just been more mindful on what I tell myself when I’m feeling this way. I don’t feed my negative thoughts, I keep them hungry. 
  17. Finances
    • I faced it. I faced that I am NOT good at saving, not good at keeping track of budget and sticking to a set of goals. We loved the idea of debt free journey and got hooked however didn’t stick through with it. For the first time in my life, I decided to be honest about it and learn how to better understand my bad habits and BREAK them for an abundance of financial freedom later. To be continued in 2020. 
  18. Harmony
    • To keep it simple, I feel this year has been all about harmony. So many different journeys all in one working side by side to develop the perfect song of life for year 32. (Omg I read this out loud and I think it’s by far my post corny two sentences and I LOVE IT!!!!)
  19. Meditation
    • First time in my life I was able to mediate and actually be present. Didn’t have my thoughts racing like they usually do. Has made me feel more present and more in control of my mind and how much it races. 
  20. Spirituality
    • God loves me so much. He really does. He’s opened my eyes to so many ways he’s present in my life. I love my direct relationship with him. I love that I feel the freedom and support to find different ways to find him (energy, crystals, positive vibrations, etc.). My soul has even met my highest self, and she’s awesome! Thanks God! 
  21. Balance
    • I’m learning more and more about balance and that sometimes there will be more challenges that will drain me, but I have developed was to find my balance in life and it’s been helpful. 
  22. Shield
    • Okay flatter me for a second. You’ve seen Twilight? the one where Bella is now a vampire and she figures out her special skill? Her special skill is having a shield that she can protect herself from anything and then develop it so well it protects ALL her loved ones. I imagined that in my life. I have developed a shield to protect my energy, my thoughts, my decisions, my loved ones. It’s been pretty cool to actually visualize it when I need it. Am I a vampire?
  23. Freedom
    • I am free. I am free. I AM FUCKING FREE. The more I grow, the more I learn the more I allow myself to be more authentic, the more free I feel. IT’S SOOOO LIBERATING! 
  24. Work
    • I turned 10 years with the company I work for. 10 years, 6 different positions and LOTS of learning. I’m looking forward to more learning and more growth. I’m grateful this isn’t just a way to pay bills and live how I like, it’s showing me how to balance life, have courageous conversations and lean in as a Latina Queen I am. 
  25. Dreams
    • I finally admitted that I have more dreams than what I’m currently doing in my life. To be able to vocalize it and to start allowing myself to DREAM has been huge. It has helped me see I’m more than just the every day Marisol I tell myself I am. I can’t wait to see what year 33 holds for my dreams. They comin’ yall! 
  26. Body
    • I am learning to love it. I’m learning to give myself grace and to catch myself when I am being mean to my body. I am not the weight I would like to be or the size I feel is what I should wear however, I love myself now for who I am this very very moment. My body is badass as it is! 
  27. Breathing
    • Thanks to Yoga, Pilates, my boyfriend and a free app called “iBreathe” – breathing is awesome and has helped me feel centered and pause (again) my racing thoughts. 
  28. Mind/Emotion Control
    • No I don’t have magic powers BUT I am able to find some level of control when I’m mindful of what is in my control and what is not. When I can actually focus on what I can do to move forward it helps me feel IN control for all situations in my life. It’s been so helpful and extremely hard at the same time making me actually face hard decisions or situations. Once you face it, it’s faster to overcome (in some instances) 
  29. Intuition
    • I was told intuition is like a muscle and I completely understand. The more I use it, the more I TRUST it the more I can be aware of what I should do and basically trust MYSELF that I am making the best choice I can with all the good intentions to move me to the next chapter of my life. 
  30. Fear
    • I’ve developed a new relationship with fear. I don’t want to just face fear, I want to love it and give it so much support and grace. Sometimes fear feels like my compass, sometimes it feels debilitating. I try to work on WHY I am feeling fear and decode it to know if it’s really fear or excitement that makes me SO nervous it shows up as fear. How do I know which type of fear it is? I’m working on intuition (like I said above) 
  31. Vulnerability
    • Or better known as Uncomfortable Zone. I’ve put myself in this zone more this year than ever before. If I’m not in the ring, ready to face fears, decisions, life – then how do I know what level of success/greatness/authenticity I can reach? It’s fucking hard and yet SOO rewarding. 
  32. No Fomo
    • I’ve been able to diminish the thought that I’m missing out on something if I’m not there. My thought is, if it wasn’t meant to serve me, if it wasn’t meant for me or if it wasn’t “in the stars” – then was I really missing out if it wasn’t meant to be? Philosophical right? It also helps me see that having FOMO made me jump into a rabbit hole of comparison thoughts that do NOT serve me. You do you honey – I’m cheering you on! 
  33. BIRTHDAY!
    • So so so much gratitude for growing older and the opportunity to learn more, evolve more and be more authentic as I grow. I’m a Queeeen! 

Thanks so much for sticking through and reading my post. Thank you also for seeing images of my FIRST model photo shoot 😉 My photographer is handsome and knows just how to capture my essence. This is really the first time I WANTED a ton of pictures taken of me.  Queen Marisol is ready for year 33.

As per usual,

Marisol Says It All XO

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