Happy day – I hope you are having a really fucking good day. A fucking good day can mean:
- “I’m killing it today, feel like a rockstar”
- “I feel like it’s just another day and here I am”
- “I got out of bed and dressed myself to get out of the house”
- “I woke up and brushed my teeth”
- “I woke up”
I’ve recently posted about my health and got tons of supportive replies from it. Lots of wonderful humans sending me prayers, positive energy and hoping I feel better.
I wanted to provide more details about my health for many reasons:
- 1- I enjoy sharing my truth and writing
- 2- I cannot be the only one in life that deals with health situations so I want to remind people they aren’t alone
- 3- Hold myself accountable for the evolvement I am ready to push through.
- 4- Because I’ve always been an open book and on my IG bio I say “I’m an avid oversharer” so I need to keep that description alive.
So let me give you the 411 of what’s happening.
Blood pressure. It’s high. Like dangerous, I was at risk for a stroke. Not being dramatic, okay a little but based on my numbers, it was possible.
I’ve always dealt with migraines and I had one on and off the first weekend of February – I lie. I’ve had one on and off THE MONTH OF JANUARY. I was by myself Saturday night (2/1) at home and decided to check my blood pressure with an at home wrist cuff. It was 183/110. I was so scared I did the obvious next step you all probably do – I googled like crazy and basically realized I was dying. Just kidding but not really because I called Francisco in a panic and he came home from Olivia’s (my bonus daughter) volleyball tournament. I kept checking it through the night until Francisco made me stop and got to sleep not before promising he would check in on me every hour.
Okay so blood pressure high all weekend, Sunday for my best friends super bowl birthday party I took it slow, didn’t drink or eat like I normally do (because well I know I get carried away). Didn’t work – towards the end of the night (after the fucking amazing concert performance from Shakira & JLo) the migraine came back and blood pressure was high.
It was a horrible night of trying to to sleep, being freaked out about the blood pressure & the throbbing migraine pain. Monday I woke up still feeling awful so I worked from home and called my awesome primary care doctor to schedule an appointment. Got an appointment for Wednesday but I actually got a call from a nurse hot line because the person I made the appointment didn’t like how high my blood pressure was (bless her soul). Nurse asked questions, I told her my levels throughout the week, I told her I had a hard time breathing and pressure in my chest but couldn’t differentiate it from actual heart pains or a panic attack. She was a sweetheart, was able to calm me down but very nicely told me I needed to go in to the ER immediately. After she told me that, I actually felt a sense of relief that I was going somewhere that could help me and give me some answers…seeing how I’m the type of person that needs to be in horrible pain to go to the ER (example thinking I was nervous for my work travel but actually needed to have an emergency gallbladder surgery in 2018).
The nurse was so sweet that they already had my name checked in and my info at the hospital and they quickly sent me to get an EKG (An electrocardiogram — abbreviated as EKG or ECG — is a test that measures the electrical activity of the heartbeat. With each beat, an electrical impulse (or “wave”) travels through the heart. This wave causes the muscle to squeeze and pump blood from the heart. -google). Since it didn’t show any heart attacks I played the waiting game for a few hours since everyone there was super sick with the flu. They did tell me it was abnormal but not enough info – plus my blood pressure was at 179/118. EXTREMELY HIGH.
Finally got back and doctor finally came in. Summary:
- I wasn’t dying right now
- EKG came back abnormal with “high T waves” which meant the left side of my heart seemed to be working extra hard (larger)
- It was the question of “what came first the chicken or the egg?” Was it my migraine that caused the blood pressure or the blood pressure that caused the migraine?
- They gave me a helpful migraine cocktail through my IV and I fell asleep
- Hourish later my headache was gone, blood pressure was normalized.
I left knowing, change is much needed.
Wednesday – I met with my doctor. I’m so happy Francisco found him. I actually knew of him in college as he was a member of a fraternity my sorority hung out with. Magically, we connected now and thankful he’s our primary care doctor.
Convo went as expected. We talked about what’s going on, how am I feeling, and came up with a plan of attack. What I most love about him is that he speaks from his soul and through that intuition he doesn’t try to solve for the symptom, he tries to solve and find the raw and real cause of my issue and choices. I told him I’d been doing much mental and spiritual work— he said the following that resonated so strongly with me.
“Marisol, when someone is focused on their body but doesn’t do the work for their mental and spiritual health, it’s not sustainable. You are putting in hard work on your mental and spiritual evolvement that makes the body naturally follow”
He suggested a natural supplement, with a multivitamin, and prescribed a small dosage of blood pressure meds. He put in a referral for an Echo Gram (Ultra sound of the heart) and a referral to a rheumatologist (as I was tested positive for rheumatoid arthritis).
Sooooo. Here is how I was feeling and how I’m feeling now.
Wednesday after my appointment: I cried and I felt sad yet peaceful. Sad because of the unhealthy level I have put my body in and peaceful because I know nothing right now is irreversible and it’s in my hands to make the changes
Feelings now (2/9 as I’m finishing this blog post) – feeling emperor and loved by me and many humans. Feeling like this is perfect timing and knowing I’m already doing the work with my mental and spiritual health.
I don’t think me weighing 294 pounds is healthy. I want to be very clear – I don’t believe health is equivalent to the what scale says. I only say that for ME, with the health concerns I have for MY body, I need to lose weight. I need to be more active and I need to be consistent in this journey.
- I believe I’m 100% the most beautiful me I’ve ever been.
- I believe love and survival mode caused me to make the choices that led me here with my health.
- I believe guilt and shame don’t serve me
- I believe I look fucking delicious in a two piece or lingerie.
- I believe happiness is part of the journey. I don’t correlate happiness with how I’ll look when I lose weight in the future. I am training my mind to be positive and happy as I am today because tomorrow isn’t promised.
- I believe health is my number 1 priority. And if for ME that means losing weight, it’s a bonus benefit. I’ll be equally beautiful with less weight as I am today at 7:49pm on February 9th.
- I believe I will always be thicc. And your girl is happy about that!!!!
- I believe I can’t do this alone. I’m so happy to have a tribe of friends and family that keep me motivated and real.
I truly do “heart” my life and am committed to doing what’s best for me, and making myself a priority. It’s a daily commitment that needs validation because sometimes we get distracted.
If you’re in your own journey to heal…mentally, spiritually or physically. I’m with you!!! I believe in you just as much as I believe in myself. Although we are in our own lanes and doing it differently or at a different pace, you got this!!! And so do I!!
Thank you for reading!!
As per usual,
Marisol Says It All XOXO